


What He's Always Wanted

by Wolfstar4evr



Series: Supernatural Oneshots [24]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas loves animals, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Love, Christmas in the Bunker, Dean Loves Sam, Dogs, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Sam-Centric, bit of Dean angst, fear of dogs, sam winchester finally gets a damn dog, yes i'm aware it's august
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-22 06:22:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfstar4evr/pseuds/Wolfstar4evr
Summary: It's Christmas in the bunker, complete with food, decorations and even a tree. One problem: no one knows what to get Sam.This is the youngest Winchester's first Christmas, so everything has to perfect: the food, the decorations, but especially the presents. Dean has no clue what to do.But one conversation with Cas gives him the answer, and he knows exactly what to get the kid who has wanted the same thing his entire life...





	What He's Always Wanted

“Dean, Mary, I’m sure whatever either of you get it will be fine. Sam will appreciate anything.”

 _Easy for you to say_ , Dean thinks, shooting a surly look at Cas. “That’s the fucking point, Cas.” Is what comes out of his mouth instead, and God, he hates how badly that came out, but this shouldn’t be so goddamn stressful. “Sam _will_ appreciate anything, but that doesn’t mean he should have to put up with a shitty gift.”

Cas narrows his eyes. “I don’t understand.”

Dean sighs again, glancing over at Mary who is staring at the table with a contemplative look on her face, her chin resting on folded hands. She has no idea what to get Sam either – but that’s excusable; she doesn’t know Sam half as well as Dean does. For fuck’s sake, whose idea was it to have their first real Christmas in almost ten years anyway? “Sam has probably compiled a list of anything either of us have ever said we wanted, in case he gets the chance to get it for us. Whatever he gets us, or has gotten us, will probably be the perfect gift. Meanwhile, we’re both shit and haven’t listened to him at all and have no clue what he even wants.” He looks again at his mother as he says it, and she gives him a look but doesn’t disagree. That could’ve ended badly, but they need to think of something _now_ ; Christmas is in only three days.

This time it’s Cas’ turn to sigh, regarding the two Winchesters carefully. “Dean,” He says, his tone exasperated. “That is an unfair assessment on yourself. The reason you don’t know what Sam wants isn’t because you haven’t been listening, but because Sam hasn’t expressed a desire for anything – except maybe the three of you together here as a family, in your home – for as long as I have known him. I’m not even entirely sure that he thinks he will get anything, as I’m pretty certain he doesn’t believe he _deserves_ anything.”

That stops Dean cold. “ _What?!_ ” Mary pales at that too, a horrified expression coming over her face.

Cas gives Dean that look he gives when he thinks Dean is being deliberately stupid… with a little bit of pity thrown in too. “In all his life, I cannot think of one thing that Sam asked for or wanted that he got without any negativity. He got straight As at school, and got no congratulations. He was disowned for going to Stanford on a scholarship. He found his first true home with Jess which ended with her pinned to the ceiling. He has watched you die over and over, and died many times himself. Through Heaven, Hell, and you and your father indoctrinating him that hunting comes first, the world comes first, he doesn’t believe he deserves anything anymore, especially as he has finally, recently, been given the home and family he has always wanted.” At his last words his gaze slides over to Mary, who thankfully knows all about Sam’s crappy childhood by now. She still looks troubled though, but also nostalgic as she thinks of Sam’s words to her: _you fill in the biggest blank_.

Dean scrubs his hands over his face tiredly. “Yeah, thanks Cas,” He says, dropping his hands to the table. “This has been a real help.”

The angel rolls his eyes. “What I’m trying to say, _Dean._ ” There’s that look again. “Is that while Sam doesn’t believe he deserves things, because he hasn’t had much over his life, what he wants probably hasn’t changed since he was a child. I’m sure there’s something he wanted which-” He cuts himself off as the Bunker door squeals open, and Sam comes down the stairs, sweaty from his morning run, his cheeks and nose pink from the cold.

“Hey guys,” He says, as cheerful as he always is these days. He stops next to where they’re all sitting in the library, a puzzled expression on his face. “Everything okay?”

“Of course Sammy,” Mary says immediately – too quickly, judging by Sam’s dubious expression – but he seems to let go, heading further into the Bunker for a shower and to get dressed. Mary goes back into her contemplative state, but not Dean, because Dean knows _exactly_ what he’s gonna get Sammy.

That’s how, the next day, Dean finds himself at the nearest dog shelter, a couple towns over from Lebanon, Cas’ words ringing in his ears: _what he wants probably hasn’t changed since he was a child_. Dean can barely remember a time that Sam wasn’t obsessed with dogs. The thing is, and Dean hasn’t admitted this to anyone, but he’s kinda afraid of dogs. Has been since the hellhounds. He’s pretty sure Sam knows know, which is why he hasn’t pushed the issue in a few years, even though he have a pretty stable home now and could theoretically get one. Well now that’s gonna change. Dean’s gonna get over his dumb fear and Sam’s gonna get a dog.

The moment he walks in he can hear barking from beyond the large double doors behind the desk. It’s not even vicious, just normal dogs making normal noise, but Dean’s palms immediately break out in sweat. He wipes them nervously on his jeans as he approaches the desk, and a young woman looks up at him with a smile, but her brow furrows as though she’s concerned. _Shit_ , Dean probably looks as nervous as he feels. “How can I help you?” The girl asks, her voice and smile genuine. It puts Dean at ease. Sort of.

“I’m looking to adopt a dog,” He says, trying to sound as a confident as he wishes he was.

“Okay,” The girl puts down some papers she’s holding and stands, regarding him carefully. “What kind of dog are you looking for?”

“Um, a big dog.” Dean has already decided it can’t be a little yappy dog. Sam will love anything equally, but he knows his little brother has always liked big dogs more, especially as Sam will most likely want to take it for runs. “A puppy is fine but preferably… not. And preferably floppy ears, and not, um black.”

The girl purses her lips, and Dean is just waiting for her to say they don’t have a dog like that. But she surprises him. “Sir…” She says, tentative, fidgeting slightly with her lanyard. “Are you… are you afraid of dogs?”

The question takes him by surprise, and for a minute he thinks about lying; what if she doesn’t let him adopt one? In the end, he realises he has taken too long to answer, and that the truth is clear on his face. “Yeah,” He says gruffly, but continues quickly. “But the dog’s not for me, it’s for my kid brother. Well, he’s not a kid, he’s thirty six. He’s wanted one basically since he knew what a dog was, and he’s a big guy, so he’ll need a big dog, and even though I’d prefer if it wasn’t too energetic he goes on runs so it would be best if it could run and… I don’t know.”

The girl purses her lips again, and then smiles. “I know just the dog,” She says, to his immense surprise, and then disappears into the back. Dean just stands awkwardly at the desk for a moment, tapping his fingers on the wood and trying to ignore the way the barking got louder when she went in. Soon enough, the doors swing open again, and the girl is walking through with the dog on a lead. She rounds the desk easily enough, the dog pulling her slightly, and Dean is pleasantly to find that it’s a golden retriever. He takes a small step back when the dog spots him and pulls the girl roughly over to him, almost seeming to grin as it does, its tongue lolling out of its mouth. Dean expects the dog to jump up at him, which as friendly as he looks really isn’t something Dean wants, at _all_. Instead, the dog surprises him by simply sitting at his feet and thumping its fluffy tail on the ground. The girl looks strangely relieved. _Maybe he is a jumper_.

“This is Jake,” The girl explains, her smile widening as the dog wags harder at the sound of his name. _Jake_ , Dean thinks, smiling himself. _A normal name for a normal dog._ “He’s just turned four, so he’s pretty much out of the puppy stage but still pretty energetic, so he’ll love to go on runs. His old family had little kids so he’s pretty good about not barking too loud or jumping up at people. He’s really friendly, too. You can pet him if you want.”

Dean does take a tentative step forward, and slowly reaches a hand out to the dog’s head. He’s not as afraid as he expected to be; the dog looks nothing like a hellhound and he’s on a lead. The dog does jerk his head when Dean’s hand gets close which makes him stop for a moment before continuing. Jake just wags even harder, thumping his tail against the floor madly as he gets his ear scratched. Eventually he feels confident enough to crouch to Jake’s level, and finds himself cringing but not as afraid as he thought he would be when Jake stretches his neck to sniff at his face. He doesn’t even back away when he feels the dog softly lick his cheek. He does wipe it on the shoulder of his jacket though. Gross.

The girl takes the chance to continue. “He’s perfectly healthy, and his family were good to him; they just couldn’t afford to keep him when they moved out of state and no one they knew could take him either so they brought him here. They were good to him. He was well fed, got a lot of exercise and attention so there’s no underlying weariness or aggression. So… are you interested?”

“He’s perfect,” Dean says, pleasant to find his fear completely gone – or at least not present right now – as Jake begins to lick his face more enthusiastically.

There’s a _lot_ of paperwork to fill out, but it’s totally worth it as he imagines Sammy’s face when he gets his gift. When he told Cas and Mary about his plan Cas had grinned wider than he’d ever seen, clearly excited by the prospect of an animal in the bunker. Mary had just smiled, clearly still stressed about her own gift and not understanding the significance of a dog in the same way Cas and Dean do, but happy nonetheless.

Once the paperwork’s done Dean gives Jake one last pat before the girl – whose name is Liza – takes him back to the back room, ready to picked up tomorrow on Christmas Eve. Cas is gonna come with him, and they’re gonna fly him from the car to Cas’ room in the bunker, the room that out of the three of them Sam is least likely to go into, and the angel is gonna keep Jake company until it’s time to reveal him. Happy with that plan, Dean drives back to the bunker in the best mood he’s been in in weeks, ever since they decided on this ‘real Christmas’ debacle. They’ve got a huge, real tree in the library and everything, curtesy of Cas, and coloured lights stretching down the halls. At first Dean hated it, especially when the ones above his door fell down one night and he got tangled in them when he came out in the morning. The only thing that stopped him from just tearing them down completely was Sammy’s hopeful face when he realised he might actually be getting a real Christmas with his _mom_. Dean’s not sure Sam’s ever had a real Christmas in his life. Maybe at Stanford, but certainly never one with the Winchester family.

That’s all about to change.

When Dean gets back to the Bunker it’s strangely quiet. After a couple of minutes he finds Cas sitting quietly in the kitchen, staring at a considerably old copy of the local paper. “You good?” Dean asks when the angel looks up. “All set for tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Cas says in reply. “You might want to check on Mary.”

Dean frowns. “Why?”

Cas shrugs. “I’m not sure she slept at all last night, and she was just in here making more coffee. She poured a mug of it then left with the entire pot.”

Dean turns to the coffee machine, and indeed the glass kettle is gone. “Where’s Sam?” He asks next, and Cas looks up again.

“He’s in his room, reading.”

 _Great_. Dean thinks, he continues to his own room, intending to stop by Mary’s room on the way. When he gets there he’s glad to find the door is open. He knocks gently, watching her where she’s pouring over a book on her desk. She looks up when he steps into the room. “You okay, mom?” He asks quietly. She looks awful, like she didn’t sleep all night and still hasn’t.

Mary nods jerkily, clearly shaking from the coffee. “I’m just working on Sam’s present.”

Dean intrigued, steps further into the room. “What is it?” He asks, but his mom slides it away from his view.

“You’ll have to wait and see when I give it to him,” She says, picking up a pen. He nods and puts a hand to her shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Just remember to get some rest,” He reminds her gently, rolling his eyes as she just waves him away. Anything for Sammy.

He swings by Sammy’s room next, and finds the overgrown fool asleep on his bed with a book resting open on his chest. Dean recognises the book as one he started yesterday, and it looks to be about at least a thousand pages long. From where it’s open it seems that Sam has nearly finished it now. The idiot probably stayed up all night too. With a sigh Dean just turns the light off and closes the door quietly. Sam will probably sleep through to morning now, as hard as he’s been pushing himself recently. Kid needs sleep. It’s not even that late, either, probably only about seven. “Goodnight Sammy.”

The next day Cas and Dean drive over to the town with the dog shelter and buy some supplies. Dean agrees to a couple dog toys, but when Cas arrives with about _six_ that _squeak_ Dean has to put a stop to that immediately. “No,” He says, and Cas just narrows his eyes at him.

“Yes,” Cas replies, maintaining eye contact with Dean as he drops all the toys into the basket Dean’s holding.

Dean cannot _believe_ he just did that, and he would start an argument in a pet store if he thought it would do anything, but the angel appears to be in one of his moods. He’ll just have to return the toys later, or maybe give Jake a new one every few months instead of all at once.

“Hey boy,” Dean says when they pick up Jake, secretly pleased by the way the dog wags enthusiastically. Cas gives Jake a few pats too as he’s handed over, and luckily he seems to like the angel too. The ride back to the bunker is uneventful, and they decide to park outside rather than in the garage, in case Sam is in there. “Now,” Dean says, turning around in his seat to face Jake. Sweet Lord, he _never_ thought he’d have a dog in the backseat. Sam is gonna seriously owe him for this. “Cas is gonna fly you inside. It’s gonna be real disorienting, but you’ve gotta stay _quiet_ , okay? You’re here for Sammy, but you’ve gotta remain a secret until tomorrow morning. Cas will stay with you until it’s time to be brought out.”

Jake barks softly and starts to pant a little. “He says okay, but he’s nervous about flying,” Cas translates, and Dean can’t believe he’s not even surprised that Cas speaks dog anymore. “It’ll be fine,” The angel continues, reaching over to pet him gently before they both disappear. When they’re gone Dean pulls the car into the garage, and sure enough Sam is there, working on one of the old bikes.

“Hey,” Dean greets, trying to not seem too suspicious. Sam barely glances at as he waves a hand at him from under the bike. Dean takes that as his queue to leave, praying to God Sam doesn’t look in the trunk.

In the evening, when everyone starts to get ready for bed, Sam seems to be the least excited. Cas and Dean are practically vibrating with anticipation over revealing Jake in the morning, and Mary is equally pleased about finally finishing her gift for Sam. “You guys okay?” Sam finally asks, realising with some confusion that everyone keeps staring at him.

“Just excited for Christmas, Sammy,” Dean says from where he’s preparing vegetables for tomorrow’s lunch. Honestly, Dean’s quite excited about cooking tomorrow. Their first real Christmas dinner.

Sam smiles at those words, and looks back down at his cards; he, Cas and Mary are playing poker. The contented quiet of the kitchen continues for about another hour before Cas says he’s going back to his room as an excuse to go back to Jake, who has been on his own for a couple hours now. Mary follows suit, wishing both the boys a good night and a merry Christmas. “So Sammy,” Dean says as Sam is clearing up the cards. “You excited for tomorrow?”

Sam shrugs easily. “I guess,” He says, pushing the cards back into the box. “This is kinda my first real Christmas, you know? I never thought I’d have this.”

Dean’s brow furrows. “You never had one with Jess?” Jess has become less of a sore spot recently; Sam seems more open to talking about the good times with her rather than just blaming himself for how she died.

“I had one with her family,” Sam replies easily enough. “But that was someone else’s Christmas, you know? I was just a guest. This is our Christmas.”

Dean gets what Sam means. Being a guest in someone else’s family doesn’t compare to being in your own. When Sam eventually goes to bed as well, leaving Dean with the last of the cleaning up, the older brother can’t help but think about how this whole Christmas really is for Sam. Mary, Dean, and even Cas in the early years of heaven have had some kind of family celebration. That’s something Sam has never had, and never thought he would have.

The next morning Dean gets everyone up early to open a couple of gifts in the library before they eat breakfast in the kitchen. Really it’s just an excuse for Mary and Cas to give their gifts to Sam before Jake overshadows everything. Cas got Sam some obscure books on botany and… _metalwork_? He didn’t realise either of them were things Sam was interested in, but he knows the two nerds often have long conversations about things Dean either doesn’t understand or care about.

Mary gives Sam a journal full of her early memories of their family, including stories about young John, baby Dean and baby Sam. It also includes a wealth of information about herself, and Sam is clearly touched by the gift. It became clear to Mary very early on, and to Dean to his horror, that Sam knows nothing about Mary, literally _nothing_. Dean knew that mentioning her to John was a no-go, but he hadn’t realised just how badly _he_ had failed Sammy in that regard. Sam gives Mary a long hug, which she enthusiastically reciprocates, and everyone pretends not to notice that Sam wipes his eye as the hug breaks.

“Right!” Dean exclaims, standing up from the floor with some difficulty. “Breakfast.”

Sam jerks his head up, looking confused. “But no one else opened any gifts-“

Dean waves him away as the others stand up. “We can wait. Come on.” Sam stands up too, gathering his books into his arms as he does. Dean rolls his eyes. “Leave the books, sasquatch. You can read ‘em later.” Sam grumbles as he drops the books from Cas onto the table, and Dean decides not to say anything when he keeps Mom’s journal with him.

Breakfast as a quiet affair with Dean making an assortment of chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes for everyone. As Cas isn’t eating he leaves the table early to put Jake in the library for when they go to open more gifts. Sam doesn’t seem to find anything amiss, too engrossed in the journal to realise Cas even left, or to eat. Mary seems incredibly pleased that he likes her present, and now even she is excited as the thought of revealing Jake. It seems that neither of them can eat fast enough, and it’s torture watching Sam take a bite every couple of minutes while reading. Eventually Dean confiscates the journal, forcing Sam to eat quicker. His little brother blushes as he scarfs down his pancakes, embarrassed that they were all waiting for him. “More gifts,” Dean announces the moment Sam’s plate is clear, practically marching his brother out of the kitchen and back to the library.

Sitting next to the tree, with a red bow tied to his collar, is Jake. Cas is standing next to him, but it doesn’t stop the dog from woofing softly and wagging madly at the sight of Sam. The retriever clearly knows now is the time to meet his new owner, and he’s excited about it. Sam, on his part, freezes the moment Jake comes into his view, and Dean places a hand on his shoulder. “Dean,” Sam says, his tone cautious, and upsettingly unsure. As if anyone else in this bunker would be getting a dog for Christmas.

“His name is Jake. He’s for you,” Dean reassures him, squeezing his little brother’s shoulder. “Merry Christmas Sammy.”

At those words Sam takes a step forwards, and Jake takes the opportunity to run to his new owner. The dog can clearly tell that Sam is a dog person, as he jumps right up to Sam in an attempt to lick his face, but Sam is too tall. Sam laughs and crouches down to let Jake lick his face. “He’s mine to keep?” Sam laughs, scratching down Jake’s sides who seems to go mad with the affection. “He’s not just here for the day?”

Dean hates that Sam even has to ask that, but he understands why; Dean has made it abundantly clear on several occasions how much he hates dogs. “He’s yours to keep,” He says, letting out an oof as Sam turns around and he suddenly has an armful of 6’4” little brother.

“Thank you so much,” Sam says into his shoulder, hugging him harder than he ever has before. “This is the best Christmas ever.”

“You’re welcome, Sammy,” Dean replies, rubbing a hand down his brother’s back as Jake yips at them, running in circles around their legs, Cas and Mary smiling at the two of them. Sam is totally right – this is the best Christmas ever.


End file.
